1. Notice your ear is feeling a little funny, mention it at your physical at your office’s wellness center on Friday, but don’t make a big deal of it since you’re sure it’ll feel fine tomorrow.
  2.  Wake up Saturday morning with a plugged ear. Walk twenty minutes to an Urgent Care center because the office’s wellness center is effectively your primary care doctor and is closed on the weekend. Realize that maybe you should get a primary care doctor in Brooklyn.

  3.  When Urgent Care confirms that you have an ear infection, proceed to CVS for an antibiotic.
  4. Spend the weekend alternating between coddling your ear with warm and cold compresses and waiting for your fever to arrive after dinnertime and depart around bedtime. Spend ten minutes walking in circles with a warm compress against your ear to distract yourself from the pain.
  5. Cancel your weekend plans. 
  6.  Ask a friend to buy you more ibprofun and snacks and visit with you for an hour on Sunday so you don’t feel totally isolated.
  7. Watch a lot of TV.
  8.  Have a fever-free Monday, but notice that your ear really isn’t clearing up at all and in fact your other ear is starting to feel a little tender too.
  9. Call the office’s health center on Tuesday and make an appointment for that afternoon. Get yourself to work for the appointment and stop by your desk first to pick up the Easter candy your mom sent you.
  10. Take the ear drops they gave you (along with the news that another infection is brewing in your other ear) and head home, stopping only to get some food at the store, because you need to eat something that’s not cereal.
  11. Use ear drops four times a day as directed and hope for the best.
Will try to write about something more fun on Thursday, if I’m feeling better! In the meantime, please share some funny stories in the comments!